Cover Monkey

Here are the choices. Which Sock Monkey best portrays the "Hang in There" image:

Hangin' In There

Sad news to report, sports fans. The 'Hang in There Kitty' couldn't hang in there any longer. She will be buried in a shoebox 'neath the old willow tree. Graveside services will be conducted at a later date. Sock Monkey has stepped up to volunteer as the new face of perserverance. After a preliminary photo shoot this weekend, Sock Monkey was asked for a quote about his new role as the tenacity ambassador. He said, "Hang in there!" Truer words have never been spoken, SM.
The rumor mill had Sock Monkey updating his slogan to two possibles: "Keep it real" or "Don't wig out". However, he has decided, in memory of the Kitty, to conserve her famous quote. Look for updated posters to appear in office cubicles and school counseling offices across America. Hang in there, indeed!

Sock Monkey Yard Sale

One weekend only (only) at the local Civic Center (Center) Sock Monkey (Monkey) is having a yard sale (sale). Everything must go (go). If you miss this opportunity (tunity), you better be dead (dead) or you'll wish you were (were)!

Items for sale:

A dozen Faberge eggs.
A working Ferris Wheel.
A Pocket Fisherman.
An 8-track of Mac Davis' Greatest Hits.
A deck of Sea Monkey playing cards.
A set of Laverne and Shirley drinking glasses minus Squiggy.
"Best" half of best friend necklace.
Box of "Happy Bar mitzvah Marty" balloons.
5 gallons of Harvest Gold latex paint.
A gently used pair of plastic vampire teeth.
A 6 inch cubic zirconium "S" initial necklace.
A Gutenberg Bible.
A weight bench (never used).
A ream of "From the Desk of Sock Monkey" stationary.
An authentic "Woodstock" t-shirt.
An authentic "Snoopy" t-shirt.
An assortment of Tupperware lids.

Beware the Stunt Monkeys

I would like to take this opportunity to introduce to you some of the stunt monkeys that make this blog possible. Sock Monkey is only one monkey. He is awesome, we all know that, but he can't do it all. Here is the power behind the throne.

Pictured:
Bottom row: Sock Monkey
Middle row: David Lee A.K.A. "Son of Sock Monkey"
Top Row: Dutch A.K.A. "The Flying Dutchman"

You might remember Dutch and David Lee from such posts "Summer of My Discontent" and "Plan B Movie".

*Thank you to Colt Seaver Stunt Agency, Inc.

Birthday Wish List

Sock Monkey's birthday is coming up. He has decided to celebrate by publishing his birthday present wish list:

*Autographed picture of original Cheetah from the 1932 movie "Tarzan the Ape man".

*Vintage "Goin' Bananas" t-shirt circa 1976.

*A 1981 Dodge Charger yellow in color with flames on the doors and a license plate reading "SOCMNKE"

*Monchhichis complete first season on DVD.

*A Garanimals jogging suit.

*A bottle of Wild Simian cologne.

*World Peace.

Sock Monkey's Big Announcement

Sock Monkey would like to take this opportunity to throw his chin-strap hat into the ring and announce his candidacy for presidency of the United States of America.

Biography:

Sock Monkey was born to immigrant parents in New York City. His father worked for peanuts alongside an organ grinder while his mother was a homemaker. Growing up in the projects with several brothers and sisters, Sock Monkey still found time to educate himself by reading borrowed books by firelight.

As an adult, Sock Monkey clawed his way out of the urban jungle and began a career as the front man for the rock n roll group, The Great Apes. After limited success, he worked in the corporate world as the CEO of a monkey business.

Sock Monkey sees the need for continued leadership as America walks into the new frontier. He feels that with his past struggles and swinging lifestyle, he understands what America needs.

SOCK MONKEY FOR PRESIDENT 2008

Stop by campaign headquarters, The Frozen Banana, and get a free tropical smoothie with every promised vote.

Check back for Sock Monkey for President 2008 updates. Please.

Sock Monkey Sings.....

Sock Monkey writes the songs that make the whole world think.
…. Berry Cantaloupe

In this long awaited collection, Sock Monkey brings back the songs of our childhood. Revising the traditional lyrics for a hipper audience, Sock Money ensures that each song will be remembered for a long time to come. Each track has been re-mixed for a bluesy sound that your kids will be humming around the milk cooler for days.

Sock Monkey Sings…contains the following songs:

Mary had a little scam
Little scam
Little scam
Mary had a little scam
She fleeced the elderly

Twinkle twinkle little bar
How I wonder where you are
I’m so drunk I can’t recall
That you are out by the mall
Twinkle twinkle little bar
I’m lost driving in my car

The farmer in the cell
The farmer in the cell
He stole another stereo
The farmer in the cell

The deals on the bus go down, down, down
down, down, down
down, down, down
The deals on the bus go down, down, down
All over town

Froggie went to court for DUI Uh-huh
Froggie went to court for DUI Uh-huh
Froggie went to court for DUI Uh-huh
Attorney and bail bondsman by his side Uh-huh

*Sock Monkey does not condone stealing, drinking or scamming the elderly. This is merely his political commentary on society. Peace out, Monkey fans.

Sock Monkey: A Life in Retrospectus

The first picture is Sock Monkey in the third grade. Already, we see greatness in him, despite the dreadful meatloaf hair.

The second picture is of Sock Monkey and his first wife, Sheila. They met at The Purple Cow, a sleezy juice bar. This was at the climax of Sock Monkey's career as the front man for The Great Apes.

The third picture is of Sock Monkey and his band's first and only album, Cereal Killers.

The fourth picture is of Sock Monkey and his second wife, Elaine. They met through mutual friends. Sadly, it didn't work out for them, either. You can see the unhappiness is Elaine's furrowed brow.

The last picture is of Sock Monkey and his pride and joy, his son, David Lee.