I Dream of Televison City

I was just thinking about a city...a city centered around TV..... It makes me wonder….what would it be like to live in Television City?

A magical city that was designed by Mike Brady. Mayor Boss Hogg, is good when the Duke boys are out of town. Governor Gatling and his right-hand man, Benson, make us happy we voted them in to run the state.

The citizens sleep well at night with Sheriff Lobo keeping the county roads safe from ne’er do well monkey encumbered truck drivers. The police force includes Poncherello, Hunter, McCloud, Starsky and Hutch. However, when another set of spying eyes are necessary, they call in Magnum, Rockford and the brothers Simon. They all keep an eye on the villainous J.R. Ewing, who runs the town with an iron fist. No one is sure, but they suspect that he has the help of a genie. But his worst nightmare is a band of four Vietnam vets and a plucky news reporter that travel around in a black and red van dispensing their own form of justice.

When necessary, the hospital, St. Elsewhere is stocked with the best doctors available, Trapper John, Marcus Welby and Doogie Howser. Although, sometimes a fight breaks out over who should make the first incision. When something goes awry, they send the stiff to Quincy.

Bruce Banner keeps the litmus paper on hand and his temper in check at the downtown lab.

People never go hungry in Television City. If you want a hamburger, Arnold’s is the place to go. The local greasy spoon is Mel’s Diner, but the classier set of “friends” gather at Central Perk to chat over coffee.
Sometimes, the local band, The Partridge Family entertains.

For other forms of entertainment, you can’t go wrong by turning your radio dial to WKRP to check out the Dr. Frasier Crane show or catching a rerun of the Alan Brady Show on TV.

Education is also a top priority. Serious Miss Crump watches over Opie and his pals at the elementary school while Mr. Kotter makes sure all of his students graduate with life skills, bell bottoms and a treasury of jokes. When they finish school, all students can work in the local Jefferson’s Dry Cleaners or join the Star Fleet Academy and serve on the U.S.S. Enterprise.

The local church boasts the only flying nun in the world and Aunt Bea’s delicious apple pie at every church social.

If you need a place to live, see the local building super, Schneider. Maybe you’ll get apartment 227.
Howard Cunningham also has your tools to help fix up the place. When that doesn’t cut it, call local handyman, MacGyver. He can seal, drill or blow something up with a paper clip, baseball card and peroxide that he gets at Sanford and Son’s junkyard.

Looking for a ride? Call Alex or Latka for a taxi or if you need public transportation, wait at the bus stop for Ralph Kramden.

Every town has the creepy old house that scares the kids, not Television City. It has two, the old Addams Family place and the Munster Mansion on Mockingbird Lane. Of course there is the local creepy guy, Mister Rogers, who welcomes everyone to the neighborhood with his brand of rhymes.

Do cultures, hairstyles and even eras collide in Television City? Yes, they do! Of course they do! However, as the great Hannibal once said, “I love it when a plan comes together!”

So, as Captain Stubing waits on the dock at the local marina, I think I hear him calling, “Come aboard, we’re expecting you!”

So long my hometown! I’m moving to Television City! Population: ME! Hee Haw!