His first instant message to you is "what is your type?" and he means blood.
On your first date, you suggest an Italian restaurant and he starts pouting.
He selects Frankenstein from your bookshelf, reads the last page and then weeps openly.
You put a lot of work into planning day trips. At first he is excited, but he always cancels at the last minute.
He has never heard of Oprah.
When you invite him over for dinner and ask how he likes his steak, it takes you an hour and a half to talk him out from under the coffee table.
His email is: vlad_dracul3@transylvania.net
The bumper sticker on his black Cadillac says, "My other car is a hearse".
He mentions that he has to make a withdrawl and he stops at a blood bank.
He claims to have sold all of his mirrors to a flea market because they made his bottom look fat.
He wears an unordinary amount of lace.
He thinks Christopher Lee is the most underrated actor of our time.
He giggles uncontrollably when Tevye sings "Sunrise, Sunset" during Fiddler on the Roof. When you ask why, he cryptically answers that he "has all the time in the world" and then he calls Tevye "a chump".
His sister tells you he is.
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